Untangled

Starred review from September 12, 2022
Buddhist monk Paley Ellison (Wholehearted) delivers an outstanding guide to the essentials of Buddhist practice. To counter the “tangle” of fears and resentments engendered by modern life, Paley Ellison urges readers to follow the Eightfold Path of Buddhism. “We’re not ever going to actually get good” at following the Path, Paley Ellison asserts, emphasizing that Buddhism is a way of life rather than a goal to be achieved. The author recounts how, early in his Buddhist practice, he lost sight of Buddhist principles in his eagerness to please his instructors and suggests that to achieve “right intention”—a tenet of the Eightfold Path—one must stop seeking validation in others and accept “life as it is.” He tells of getting chased through the woods by teenagers shouting “hunt the Jew” when he was 10 and shares how he learned to “regulate” his lingering fear through meditation. Such reflection questions as “What do you conceal about your life?” and “Are there stories or thoughts you use to beat yourself up?” encourage readers to consider how to integrate Buddhist principles into their lives. Paley Ellison’s candid anecdotes show the principles in action and his passion comes through on every page. Additionally, his theology manages to be accessible without oversimplifying. This walks the walk.

November 1, 2022
Both accessible and thought-provoking, Untangled does an excellent job of explaining Buddhist principles and how they can be applied to life. Paley Ellison, a Zen Monk and psychotherapist, writes candidly about his own struggles with Buddhist practice--especially in his early days--and how the principles of the eightfold path helped center him and improve his self-image and his marriage, friendships, and work. Growing up Jewish and gay, he was bullied in school and suffered lingering traumatic aftereffects into adulthood. Meditation, he explains, helped him regulate his fear. He further explains how suffering is universal, and rather than deny negative experiences and emotions, it is helpful to come together and acknowledge these things in support of each other. Each chapter features reflection questions for the reader to ponder. Paley Ellison shares concepts to give readers a new lease on life, including purpose and genuine connections with fellow humans. Untangled is perfect for those curious about Buddhism, along with those who are simply curious about new ways of thinking.

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