A Tale of Two Titties

May 27, 2024
Vondriska, whose X account @MenWriteWomen skewers sexist literature, provides an irreverent guide purporting to help women authors emulate the misogynistic literary stylings that propel male writers to the top of bestseller lists. The “basic bro code for writing women” includes such tenets as “women are breasts” and “thou must never portray a woman as having both brains and beauty.” A breakdown of female stock characters used to “advance the story of the male hero” explains that secretaries should be oblivious to their own sexiness and that nagging wives should drive their husbands to drink. Lampooning the excuses male authors use to dismiss critics, Vondriska recommends that readers accused of writing flat female characters blame “where you grew up,” “what books you read as a child,” or “the character. They’re meant to be an asshole!” The mordant commentary bites, but exercises interspersed throughout come across as filler, as when Vondriska provides a “manly Madlib” prompting readers to supply sexually charged adjectives, as well as blank pages for writing an objectifying description of a woman’s corpse in the style of a male mystery writer. Still, it’s a raucous send-up of the male gaze. Agent: Justin Brouckaert, Aevitas Creative Management.

June 14, 2024
Step aside, Bird by Bird. The hot new guide for aspiring writers has arrived to ""help you write your breast"" (pun definitely intended). This workbook, sprung from the feminist mind of Vondriska, is the result of documenting male authors' most titillating transgressions on Twitter (@menwritewomen). While providing many laugh-able examples of male authors treating women like ripe, juicy, one-dimensional kumquats on legs, Vondriska peppers the book with quizzes and practical exercises. Mimicking these awful examples, ironically, results in a greater awareness of how female characters are so frequently shortchanged by male authors. The result? A book whose humor carries the day despite its depressing subject. It's an excellent read for university classes analyzing modern literature and/or gender studies. Not all men write women this way? Why, of course not! Hopefully Vondriska's guide will help further reduce their ranks. This lands nicely somewhere between Elizabeth Lesser's Cassandra Speaks (2020) and The Trope Thesaurus by Jennifer Hilt (2021).

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